One of the most significant moments that shaped my thinking about death was watching my mother's physician talk to her about why she should NOT listen to the doctors trying to treat her cancer. At the time, my mother, who was only 51 years old, had just received the news that she had a tumor on her brain stem. It had so affected her ability to function that she was almost completely bed-bound. Due to its location, the tumor was inoperable and would likely lead to her death in just 2-3 months. However, the oncologists told her there were treatment options. There was chemotherapy and radiation. My mother was quick to agree to whatever methods they wanted to try.
     But then we asked more questions. What would be the side effects? Would these treatments possibly cure her? If not, how much time would they add to her life?
     Those were not questions the doctors were eager to answer. In short - the side effects would be painful and extreme. The treatment would not cure her, it would only extend her life by a few more months. And those few months would be uncomfortable, messy, and undignified. If she did not accept the treatment, she would continue as she was - free of pain - but for a shorter time.
     My mother still wanted to try the treatments. Why would the doctors offer something that wasn't best for her? It was then that we had her general practitioner, Dr. Anderson, who also happened to be a member of her church, come and explain the decision to her. These might not be his exact words, but they are close - I was very moved by what he said and listened very carefully:
     "Patty, doctors don't know what to do with death," he said. "Everything we learn just teaches us to fight against death, to do anything we can to push it further and further away. The truth is, death terrifies us. Death, for the medical community, is failure. It is an enemy we can't defeat. But for you, my sister in Christ, death is not that. Death is an enemy, yes, but death is a defeated enemy. The sting and fear of death has been taken away by Jesus Christ. So we don't need to do let the fear of death guide our decisions.  They're not trying to figure out what's best for you, they're trying to figure out what will keep you alive a little longer."  He went on to explain that the doctors were offering treatments that would maybe give her a little more time, but it would be at a great cost - the extra months would be marked by unnecessary suffering. The only reason they were advocating for that was so that they could push the specter of death a little bit farther down the road.  
     Dr. Anderson's wisdom showed up for me in an unexpected place years later. I was reading a book by a surgeon who is not a follower of Jesus (Atul Gawande, in his book Being Mortal), and I read these words: "the purpose of medical schooling was to teach how to save lives, not how to tend to their demise." Gawande's book is a fascinating exploration of modern medicine's failure to prepare us and our doctors for the inevitability of death. He critiques the tendency to throw every possible treatment at a dying patient, instead of helping them to approach their death with whatever comfort and peace is possible.
     Gawande vividly describes the state of modern medicine like this: "The simple view is that medicine exists to fight death and disease, and that is, of course, its most basic task. Death is the enemy. But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And in a war that you cannot win, you don't want a general who fights to the point of total annihilation. You don't want Custer. You want Robert E. Lee, someone who knows how to fight for territory that can be won and how to surrender it when it can't. Someone who understands that the damage is greatest if all you do is battle to the bitter end."
     Gawande is right in this - Death is the enemy, and compared to what medicine can do, death has superior forces. But Gawande could also learn from my mother's doctor. Death doesn't always win. In fact, for those who are in Christ, death is already defeated. Christ has risen from the dead, and all who are in him share that victory.
     "For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.' 'O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 15:53-57)
     After speaking with Dr Anderson, my mother agreed that the treatment options were not the right path for her. A few weeks later, she died. Nine years later, Dr Anderson would also die of leukemia. Sooner or later, if Christ does not return first, I too will die.  In each case, our deaths can be viewed as the failure of medicine to do what it is designed to do. But the reality is different.  Death was defeated.  Death is not to be avoided at all costs.  Death is something else entirely: "Jesus lives, and death is now but my entrance into glory. Take courage, then, my soul, for thou hast a crown of life before thee."